Sunday, May 2, 2010

Journeying into Toddlerhood Part I

It's hard to believe that we now have a toddler on our hands (and hearts for that matter), and this weekend I decided to dive into Toddler Wise and try to finish it before my little one moves beyond this stage (I haven't had much time to do any reading lately) and I need to move onto Preschool Wise!

While reading, I learned that walking is one of the greatest milestones of life and "the single most important skill that unlocks a brand new world waiting to be discovered." I was reassured that curiosity is indeed a good thing. It opens a world of discovery. Ansley is (may I say) wide-open! Just today, she started saying "wh dis" (what's this) as we were playing in her room and she would find things and bring them to me to identify. I want Ansley to grow up to be curious. I want her to wonder about the things of this life and the mysteries of eternity.

I suppose the thing that makes me most nervous as a new mom with a child entering toddler hood is that of boundaries. How do boundaries and curiosity intermix? How do they coexist? I love this quote, "Developmental harmony is achieved when freedoms awarded to a child are appropriate for his/her level of understanding and self-control." I learned yesterday while reading that discipline is teaching her how to stay "on track" while correction is helping her get "back on track". I like that.

As we enter this stage of her learning right vs. wrong, I am wrestling with the fervor that I do not simply want to parent Ansley, I want us to parent her heart. I do not want to do things other parents do simply because it's the "thing" to do or even for the mere reason that it's what a book said to do or what I "believe" to be right, I want God-ordained guidance...I need it and I want to learn to be dependent on it. I do not want to enter into this stage of parenthood lightly. God called Jon and I to raise her as a "pillar of the church" to be a peace-maker and a purifier. I believe this requires moral training, academic training and spiritual training and I believe that the war is too fierce to not begin now. I believe now is the time to start setting the goals that fall under each of these categories and to frequently revisit them every six or so months to make sure we are on track.

In the area of moral training, I have learned that I am going to stop trying to place a high value on how I am going to "fix" the behavior and instead look at "why" I want to change this behavior. Isn't this at the core of parenting...helping unlock the "why" so that you and your child know the reasoning behind the command? Today I learned some principles of instruction that I want to pray over for more guidance and direction in using them in our family as we raise our children.
1. Require obedience.
2. Give instructions, not suggestions.
3.Be consistent.
4. Require eye contact and "yes, Mommy" after a given command.

I will likely share my thoughts on academic training and spiritual training as I learn more. However, for all of you out there in blog world...I just want to preface this by saying that these are just that...my thoughts. I'm not asking you to adopt them. I am no expert and don't pretend to be. I've been doing this for a whopping 13 months and I've made quite a few mistakes. In reality, everyday I realize that without Jesus' wisdom I am as lost in training my child's heart as the non-believer. As a matter-of-fact, they may even be better at it than me! Aren't we all in this journey together? All women on this earth desire to train their children in something. The mother's heart is a mysterious and beautiful thing. Instead of sharing what I'm learning with my fellow Christian mom friends, what if I went beyond that and shared with others who have never thought about training their children morally or spiritually? Surely others must have questions about this same journey? I could probably learn a great deal from them! In reading this book and entering this new stage with Ansley, I am mixed with joyous emotions and a little nervousness (alright I admitted it). My heart burns for my baby girl to be kingdom-minded, God-fearing, and righteous as each day draws her closer to a time when she will leave our home and raise her own world-changers. I am one mommy among millions that needs help in this endeavor. I thank the Lord that he has put this on my heart. I'll be letting you know where this journey takes me...

2 comments:

Leslie said...

Wonderful post Karen! I love how you have a heart to help others, particularly those who don't know Christ. You are an inspiration.

Karen said...

As are you, my sweet friend, Leslie!